Friday, January 16, 2009


Houseflies have been a common problem in our house....seems our house is positioned in a high fly zone, and during the wet winters, we get more than our fair share.

Tonight I decided to launch a major offensive on the flies. I honed my tactics by studying an article that suggests that you anticipate the fly's movement. My strategy contained another element of modern air warfare, starting at night. By attacking at night, I was able to corral the flies into one room by instituting a serious of rolling blackouts in the house, thus attracting them to one hallway where I established my killzone. In the matter of minutes, I had killed my first 8...easily reaching Ace status. After that, the flies got tougher. I must've weeded out the weaker portion of the pack, leaving only the strongest of the fly armada to put up a strong fight. I enlisted the help of Jack, who has a keen "spidey sense" that allows him to spot insects long before anyone else. He was my scout, and we used hunter-killer tactics. We were able to chase many a fly two-ships into the bathroom, where I closed the door and took out both wingmen. I eventually ended up with 17 dead...three times an Ace. I tossed all the carcasses in the toilet, then Carter and Jack rendered them appropriate honors by peeing on them and flushing them down.

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