spray deodorant

we don't have the best bx in the world, unless you're looking for a rock hero guitar...they have about 10 different varieties of guitars to include the aerosmith edition.  if you're looking for deodorant, the pickings are slim.  you can either by the generic aafes brand that crumbles upon the first application, or you can get right guard in a can.  it's been a long time since i've used an aerosol deodorant, but i had to choose it over the crumbly aafes roll-on.  there are a few problems with the aerosol deodorant:

 

1) it makes a lot of noise when spraying.  this is a concern, since i'm up every morning at 5:30, while my roommate sleeps until 8:00.  right guard uses some high-powered aerosol that can wake up the sleeping.  i mitigate this by only applying short bursts of deodorant.

 

2) the aerosol puff cloud of freshness is way too powerful.  it will choke anyone in the room.  i taste the freshness for hours.

 

i've told a few people about my switch to aerosol deodorant and have gotten some interesting feedback.  the reaction would be the same if i suggested that i planned to grow a mullet, wear some jorts and drive a camaro.  so, i searched the internets to see what all i could find about spray on deodorant. 

 

this guy seems to be struggling over the roll-on vs. spray issue.

 

ehow.com gives good directions on how to apply spray deodorant.

 

enterpreneur.com gives a good rundown on the deodorant market.  spray deodorant growth is slowing down, while the roll-on sector is expanding.

 

i need to pick-up some deodorant next time i'm downtown.  it won't be spray-on, unless i can get some of the RGX BodySpray developed by my boy 50-cent, or as I call him...brutha fitty.

meat salad

haircut from the hulk

so far i haven't received a good haircut out here. there are 4 barber chairs in our barber shop.  i've been to the barber shop 5 times since i've been here.  odds are that i would've received haircuts from more than 1 barber.  i'm not a picky barbershop patron.  i don't wait for my choice barber to cut my hair. i rarely get a good haircut, so i usually just roll the dice and get the barber i'm assigned.  every time i've gone to the bargershop, i've been assigned the same barber.  the barber looks like the incredible hulk, with a cro-magnon face, giant bushy eyebrows, the lou ferigno era hulk haircut, and a stocky build.  it's not so much his haircutting that bothers me, it's the post-haircut festivities that makes me want to avoid the hulk.  however, every time i walk in, like yesterday, the hulk jumps up, ready to cut my hair.  after the haircut, he gives the head massage that is customary in this part of the world.  however, the hulk goes above and beyond.  he gives quite the rub-down, and takes it a little too far by putting his hands down the shirt to rub my shoulders.  i've checked around, and only 1 or 2 other guys have gotten the full hulk rubdown.  this concerns me.  i feel violated.

smell report

had a shitwave move in tonight...it wasn't a consistent smell, but we had several gusts of varying smells.  the first gust was a general sewage smell that lasted for about 10 minutes.  it cleared up for about 5 minutes, then was followed by a 5 minute gust of a feedlot smell.  it was definitely a cowshit / north carolina pork farm poop lagoon kind of a stench.

running out of running options

there are 3 places authorized for running.  i was on my preferred course tonight, doing the standard out and back 4 miler, exhausting the length of the course.  when i return, the gate guard who controls access to the course told me that the course is closed effective immediately.  we're now down to 2 very short loops (0.7miles and 1.3 miles)...although there are miles of road here, all have been deemed "unsafe" because there "are cars driving 45mph on them"....i mentioned to my boss that i wanted to bring my bike out here and ride on the same road...he thought i was crazy.

 

in 2 more months, i can be an adult again...can't wait.  don't know what i'm going to do with that kind of freedom. i know the first thing will be the wearing of black socks and the untucking of my shirt.  i'm f---ing crazy!

 

 

abu bin strap

spiderboys

halloween costumes already picked out...hopefully i'll be back to wear one as well...as long as it has the added muscles

garmin foot pod...not impressed

i bought the garmin foot pod because i knew i'd be doing a lot of treadmill running out here.  so far, i'm not impressed with its performance.  there's definitely an error there....it would be fine if the margin of error was consistent, but so far it's been anything but.

 

i calibrated using the GPS...not the most accurate calibration, as using a measured track is preferred.  i may try to recalibrate on the track, but then again, i'll need to confirm that the track out here is properly measured.

 

also, i'm running on a number of treadmills...so, that could contribute to the error somewhat.  i don't know much about treadmill calibrations, but have always assumed them to be accurate.  when the treadmill tells me i'm running a 7minute mile, i feel like i'm running a 7minute mile.

 

on 2 recent runs, the margin of error varied considerably.  i did a treadmill 10miler a couple weeks ago...i ran this one at a consistent pace...about an 8:20 min/mile pace.  at the end of the run, the 405 read 9.91miles...so at .09 off, that's an error <1%.

 

2 days ago, i ran a 5 miler...this time i varied the pace, with a couple of faster miles.  at the end of the run, the 405 read 4.37 for a 12.6% error...not good.  when the treamill was telling me i was running a 7:04 min/mile pace, the 405 was telling me that my pace was 8:18.  clearly, higher speeds affect the accuracy.

 

the latest issue of runner's world magazine had an article on 'beating the heat'...something i've had little success at over the last few months.  it had a blurb on heat index and a scale the national weather service uses to tell you that it's too dangerous to exercise outside.  here's the scale:

 

Heat/Humidity

86F//90%

88F//80%

90F//70%

92F//60%

94F//55%

96F//45%

98F//40%

 

here's our forecast for today:

 

High:  111F

Low:  89F

Relative Humidity:  90%

 

no wonder i'm dying out there...monday night i did a 4 miler outside...tuesday i did a 5 miler inside. i finished the 5 miler inside easily in 37:55...the 4 miler outside, i struggled to finish in 38:15.

 

no way i can 'beat the heat'...tip number 6 in the article, 'get used to it', is a load of shit. 

 

 

 

 

cheap beer

from this list of piss-beer, i've only consumed a few.  i've had stroh's, pbr, shiner, yuengling, lone star, old milwaukee and of course, the beast.  i hope to one day try them all.  many of these don't exist, since anheuser-busch ran a lot of the small-time piss beer manufacturers out of business.  none could taste as bad as budweiser NA, or budweiser green apple NA, or that bottle of budweiser tropical fruit NA that i'm afraid to even open. 

kabobless chicken

yesterday the chow hall had the best lunch i've seen yet.  have to applaud them for the effort.  they served something called 'kabobless chicken'...not sure why it was called kabobless, as it clearly was not a kabob.  chicken is usually not kabobed, so i'm not sure why this was identified as kabobless.  they also served some bryani and some roasted eggplant...overall, pretty decent.  this was the first cooked lunch i've had in some time, as i've been on a tuna/pb&j diet for the past few weeks.
 

in other menu news,  they've expanded the menu here...salisbury steak is now being served in 2 week intervals. 

head falls off swivel

after nearly 4 months of being told to keep my head on a swivel, it finally falls off its swivel.

 

i was walking out of the chow hall without my hat...i must've walked about 50 yards before i noticed someone at a distance pointing and laughing at me.  although he wasn't facing me at the time, he was able to swivel his head around and notice that my head had fallen off its swivel.  at that moment, i immediately snapped the head back on its swivel and ran back into the chow hall retrieving my hat...luckily, my head got back on its swivel just in the nick of time.  as i walk back out of the chow hall, with my properly covered head on a swivel, i run into one of the head rule-enforcers.  he salutes me and says good morning without knowing that my head was recently unswiveled.

 

i'm not sure how i'm going to keep my head on a swivel for the next 2 months...i'm not sure that i want to.  if we were meant to have swivel-heads, then don't you think natural selection would've helped us to evolve into swivel headed beings?

mayo surprise

identify the ingredients and i'll send you some...

McArabia

I'm not a huge McDonald's fan...aside from the McGriddles, the Limited Edition Banana Pie and the McLattes, I could live without it. When overseas, I always stop by the McDonald's to try the local sandwich of choice, for example:

 

The McBorek in Turkey--tasted ok, but I was never sure what the Borek meant

Kimchi Burger and Bulgogi Burger in Korea--Kimchi Burger scared me, so I avoided it...Bulgogi Burger was OK

Kiwi Burger in New Zealand--it had a F'n beet and fried egg on it...awful.

Some cheese and tomato sandwich in Australia--good stuff, can't go wrong with cheese and tomato

McCroque Monsier in France--love the Croque Monsieur

McSomething F'd up in Thailan--can't remember what they had, but I was afraid...seem to remember something fishy

 

Today I finally tried the McArabia, and it rocked...it consisted of two patties of kofta, fresh lettuce/tomato, a yogurt based sauce and fresh flatbread.  This had to be the freshest, tastiest fast food product I've ever had.  Washed it down with a regular sized coke (would be 1/2 the child's size in the US), and a regular order of fries (would be the Happy Meal size in the US).  They need to export the McArabia.

unwritten rules

on my way into work this morning, the low-fuel light came on my Toyota Hilux pickup truck.  had to give a briefing, so no time to fill-up the tank.  after i finished the briefing, i mentioned that i needed to get gas and wash the truck, i was told that my boss's unwritten rule is that gas tanks are always at least 1/2 full.

 

are rules, really rules if they're unwritten.  we have documents here that are full of rules that cover everything from sock length and color, to clothes washing, shirt tucking, temperatures of air conditioners, and backing up cars.  can we just go ahead and write down the unwritten rules?  i'm having a hard enough time complying with all that is written, so how am i supposed to remember all the unwritten rules.  i decided that i needed to write these down, so that i'm always in compliance with rules--both written and unwritten.

 

here they are, my boss's unwritten rules:

 

1) officers don't take off their jackets, even in the office

2) officers don't roll up their sleeves

3) officers don't go to the pool, only freaks go to the pool

4) officers don't wear pt clothes when they're not working out

5) cars always have at least 1/2 tank of gas

6) non-alcoholic beer can only be consumed after 5:30

7) officers don't wear floppy hats

 

 

i'm sure there are more...half the time, i think he's just pulling this shit out of his ass.  if it's something he doesn't like, then he says there's a rule against it.

budweiser NA

day 3 of no bar.  so, decided to crack open the plain budweiser NA.  the bottle looks just like the standard bud heavy, but doesn't meet the same high quality taste of the king.  it tastes similar to water that's had white bread soaking in it for a couple of days. 

 

the only NA i've actually enjoyed is holsten NA...bavarian isn't bad. 

exciting day off

the highlights:

 

1) got to skype with sonya and the kids...kids getting big, and wilder than ever showing me their latest furniture jumping tricks.

 

2) ate subway for lunch.  love the chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookies.

 

3) finished Ron Pau's 'Revolution Manifesto'

 

4) knocked out 10 miles on the treadmill.  nice steady run, was able to stay motivated by watching some exciting BMX X-Games action.  thinking about giving up the road bike and getting a BMX for the hickam skate park.  these moves are bad-ass. 

 

5) chow hall had chocolate chip ice cream

 

6) found out the bar was closed because 2 people got drunk.  bar's closed until someone explains how they got drunk...my analysis is that it was due to heavy drinking.  that wasn't the right answer.

 

the overnight low was 99F...it's 8pm right now and the light wind gives the blow-dryer effect. 

kashi

as much as i bitch about the food here, i have found one food that continues to sustain me...kashi cereal. their 7 whole grains are on a mission to get me through these 6 months. since i've been here, i've eaten at least 200 bowls of the go lean or heart to heart varieties. that's 2 bowls a day. yesterday, i had kashi for both breakfast and dinner. that's becoming a regular occurrence, especially on weeks like this past one...they served 4 meals of corn dogs and a triple salisbury. 2 of the corn dog meals were breakfast.