Saturday, May 31, 2008

Friday, May 30, 2008


looks like scientists have solved this mystery, although i like the more mystical explanations.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

another day, another salisbury

today is day 35 here...5 weeks down, and 5 salisbury steak meals on the menu. 
i have roughly 21 salisbury steak offerings to go.  thus far, i've refused them all.  can i make it?

hotter than balls

it's worse today, and the temperature finally climbed up to a level that's hotter than balls.
just opened the door to walk back into the building...the metal doorknob out here is a bad idea.  it burned my hand.

Monday, May 26, 2008


now that i have a roommate, i hope he doesn't have one of these...actually, a spankfest is more likely.

hot as balls

it's 8:15pm, 90+ degrees, humid, my amstel beer is getting warm, there's dust all over my laptop, the wireless internet signal is weak, all my blogger icons and directions are translated into arabic.

it was 115 today...the hot weather hasn't hit us yet.

these are not ideal blogging conditions. so uncomfortable...i'm too lazy to hit the shift key.

Friday, May 23, 2008


Not much on the TV out here when I get a chance to watch...usually flipping between Al Jazeera and Fox News in order to stay fair and balanced.  I turn off the Al Jazeera when they play that damn fistula commercial.
Thankfully we have the R. Kelly Trial to keep me entertained.  There's some good coverage in Slate.  Sounds like R. Kelly's got a great attorney.  On day 2 he asks a witness: ""You can't tell by looking at a person's vagina how old they are, can you?"   and tries to use a Wayan's brother film scenario in R's defense.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

magazine selection

At a location where the population is about 80-90% male, why would 50%+ of your magazine selection have shirtless men on the covers?  Granted, the magazines are all about "working out" and other seemingly manly things...but, it's my thought that these magazines are for a more homoerotic sort of working out.  I've long thought Men's Health to be a gay magazine...a lot of the muscle magazines appear to be even gayer.  There's even more skin on the covers of high quality magazines such as "Ripped", "Abs", "Reps."  It all looks like gay smut.  I have nothing against all the gay smut, but nearly everyone here is supposedly heterosexual.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Hofbrau Munchen Munchner Weisse

This is not a bad beer. Had I been at home, I'd give it a B+, so that's the grade that will stand for reviewing purposes. However, I'm in a very hot place, where the beer choices are is the daily allowable intake. With those factors under consideration, this beer is an A+++. When you stack it up to Bud Light, Coors Light and Heineken, there's no comparison. It's a typical Hefeweizen, very cool, very refreshing. Definitely hits the spot when it's 95 degrees and 8pm.

So, with a grade of B+, and a cost of $4/bottle, the PQ=13.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Salisbury Steak

The staple of public school lunches and frozen dinners has been served here 3 times in the past 2 weeks.  If I had a time machine, I'd like to go back to 1897 and kick Dr. JH Salisbury's ass for creating this so-called "steak"

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

He did give up golf....

What a sacrifice! 
Another good special comment from Olbermann.


Does anyone believe this crap?  Probably so, considering all the morons forwarding the 'Obama is a terrorist' e-mail.  They'll continue to do this shit until November, just like in 2006.  Hopefully Olbermann saw this one, and will give another rant like he did then.  Of course, Fox News is the news of choice out here...we get Al Jazeera too, but the only place I can watch that is in the office.  I get to hear Hannity rant about Obama being an extremist every morning while I eat my stuff.  However, it is funny to see the Fox News crowd pull for Hillary.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Managed to get down about 22g of it today...2 bowls of Kashi Go Lean Crunch, which has the same fiber as 10 bowls of Colon Blow.  The cereal tasted good, but it probably wasn't a great idea to eat all of that when I did.  I had to give a briefing shortly after breakfast...barely made it in time, as the fibrous powers of Kashi kicked in right after consumption.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Big mistake

This is just to remind myself that the next time they're slinging up pizza burger, I should avoid it.  Within minutes of finishing off the burger, my stomach is churning.  Something serious is going on...unfortunately I've got Chili Mac tonight.  No matter how much trouble it may cause, I can never avoid Chili Mac.  There's not a single cafeteria food item that can compare with the Chili Mac.  I better go for a run beforehand...Chili Mac usually takes me out for a couple of days.  But it's too good to pass up.

lunchroom lady

We have a lunchroom lady.  Her job is to make sure everyone "sanitizes" their hands prior to eating.  She thought she busted me this morning.  I was going to get some hot water for my coffee.  She asked me if I had sanitized.  I said yes. Isn't the sign enough?  Do we really need to send someone out here to enforce the sign?

delayed posting

Every time I submit a post, I think it's being is taking
quite some time before the posting goes up online. There must be some
sort of censoring authority that makes sure I'm submiting everything
in accordance with local rules.

I've found away around posting rules. I can now e-mail posts to my
blog. That was a good find, since it's apparent that the man doesn't
want me to update this blog.

Saturday, May 10, 2008


I've never really had a good haircut. Absolutely hate going to the barber, especially overseas. You never know what to expect the first time visiting a barber.

In Turkey, got a haircut that looked awful...some sort of high and tight bullshit with a thick puff of hair on top. That wasn't the worst of it, it was the haircut itself. After the haircut, this gay looking turkish dude starts rubbing my shoulders...i look in the mirror and see that this guy's totally into it, not in a massage-professional way, but more of a "I'm gay" kind of way.

So, I find a different barbershop in Turkey. I see others getting massaged, so I tell him up front that I don't want the post-haircut rubdown. This guy gives a decent enough haircut. After the cut, he quickly tilted my head back...didn't know what was going to happen, but I didn't have time to react before he shoved some scissors up my nose and started trimming nose hairs.

In Korea, the post haircut massages are quite a production. They even call over a second female-barber (is it a barbress?) to help with the massage. They start with a little innocent shoulder rub, then quickly push you forward to give them room to work on the back, with a routine I call "slappy slappy"...they beat the shit out of your back. Then, each barbress grabs an arm, counts "Han, Dual, Set" and each yanks your arm from the socket.

I was nervous to get my first haircut here, not knowing what to expect. As Shurjesh the barber asked me how I wanted my haircut, he started out with a rub on the shoulder...not a good sign. He then gives me the shitty haircut as depicted below, then follows up with the massage. This was a strange massage, as he was hitting on my head with a closed fist. After a minute or so of punching my head, he moved on to the shoulder rub...the most uncomfortable part of the haircut.

I think next time, I'm going to go ahead and shave my head....that will help minimize trips to the barber shop.

Friday, May 9, 2008


Today we're having meatloaf and noodles jefferson.  This is the 3rd time meatloaf has appeared on the menu this week...the dish, not the man.  I've never heard of noodles jefferson, so I googled it.  Looks like they serve it to the inmates at GTMO (see the bottom of the article).  If it's good enough for the detainees, it's good enough for me.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Groundbreaking Study

Was this study even necessary? 

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Christian Dildos?

Just read something disturbing on Slate, regarding Christian Pop Culture.  I accept, but do not understand Christian rock.  Christian books are understandable in theory, but generally are awful novels like Left Behind or worn out self-help books like Purpose Driven Life. 
There are several things in this article that don't make sense to me, like Christian rap, techno, professional wrestling, and most of all...Christian strap-on dildos.

Why construction workers drink beer

Got a program that analyzes blog traffic. One of its features is that it tells me the search terms people use that ultimately lead them to my of the queries was "why construction workers drink beer".

Uh...why would you google that? Seriously, why does anyone drink beer? Why worry about the construction workers? It could be for a research project. I doubt my blog offered much insight on why construction workers drink beer. My answer would be that it's because beer tastes good, especially after a long day at work. It packs a lot of nutrients, and is predominantly water..although it's not the best at rehydration, one or two after a long bike ride always tastes good.

Optimum Zen

I was having trouble finding good fiber out here. So, that was the 2nd thing I asked Sonya to send...included with the good coffee. I asked for fiber, and she delivered...I've now got a closet full of fiber, probably enough to last my entire time here. The best thing so far is this Optimum Zen cereal. It packs a wallop with 9g of fiber per serving. It's very lightly sweetened and has dried up cranberries in it. Normally I don't like the sweet stuff, nor do I like dried up fruit in my cereal, but this stuff is good. It does the job too, countering the effects of all the bad food out here...flushes it right out.

Where I live right now...

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Hillary's Chances of Winning

Not looking good...I wish she'd drop out.

Poo and the Call to Prayer

Was going to run outside on Thursday. Woke up at 4am, headed outside. 2 things caught my attention....the morning call to prayer and an overpowering smell of poo....that's on top of the everpresent heat and humidity. So, I ran on the treadmill once again.

Friday, May 2, 2008


We bought a Volvo.