Saturday, May 10, 2008


I've never really had a good haircut. Absolutely hate going to the barber, especially overseas. You never know what to expect the first time visiting a barber.

In Turkey, got a haircut that looked awful...some sort of high and tight bullshit with a thick puff of hair on top. That wasn't the worst of it, it was the haircut itself. After the haircut, this gay looking turkish dude starts rubbing my shoulders...i look in the mirror and see that this guy's totally into it, not in a massage-professional way, but more of a "I'm gay" kind of way.

So, I find a different barbershop in Turkey. I see others getting massaged, so I tell him up front that I don't want the post-haircut rubdown. This guy gives a decent enough haircut. After the cut, he quickly tilted my head back...didn't know what was going to happen, but I didn't have time to react before he shoved some scissors up my nose and started trimming nose hairs.

In Korea, the post haircut massages are quite a production. They even call over a second female-barber (is it a barbress?) to help with the massage. They start with a little innocent shoulder rub, then quickly push you forward to give them room to work on the back, with a routine I call "slappy slappy"...they beat the shit out of your back. Then, each barbress grabs an arm, counts "Han, Dual, Set" and each yanks your arm from the socket.

I was nervous to get my first haircut here, not knowing what to expect. As Shurjesh the barber asked me how I wanted my haircut, he started out with a rub on the shoulder...not a good sign. He then gives me the shitty haircut as depicted below, then follows up with the massage. This was a strange massage, as he was hitting on my head with a closed fist. After a minute or so of punching my head, he moved on to the shoulder rub...the most uncomfortable part of the haircut.

I think next time, I'm going to go ahead and shave my head....that will help minimize trips to the barber shop.


sonya said...

is there any chance you might be able to videotape the head-punching-massage? how big is your camera? ask the guy in front of you if you can tape it. I need to see this. please.

Jon said...

perhaps a small portion of your haircutting woes are due to your inordinately light bulb shaped cranium.

Suggest you grow your hair in the shape of a lampshade.

sonya said...

some people really like the slappy slappy.

Anonymous said...

HUH??? I remember the slappy. in fact there was quite a commotion prior to my job interview when I insulted my barberess and she left in tears mid cut. Ms. G came to save the day and was annointed my barberess henceforth... erin especially enjoyed the slappy slappy finish on her breasts during said massage'

Strap said...

jon oleson...why are you trying to hide as "mr. anonymous"...pull off the mask and reveal yourself.