Thursday, May 13, 2010

Retiring My Jersey

After nearly 3 years of use, it's time for me to retire my HACC Jersey. The jersey has seen a lot of miles...rides on 3 Hawaiian Islands, races in Hawaii, DC, Maryland, and commutes to Arlington.
The decisive moment came yesterday in the locker room at Ft Belvoir. It was a cool commute, and I hardly sweat on my way in to work. In the morning, I hung it up in a locker. After a full day of class, I came back to the gym to change. When I opened up the locker, it released a vile stench that cleared the room. I could barely breathe as I struggled to put on the jersey. Over the past 6 months, I noticed that the jersey was holding an increasingly stronger stench, but it was usually noticeable after a more intense sweat-inducing ride. Yesterday's easy ride awakened some old stink cells that singed my nose hairs. I'd been denying the stench for awhile, but I can't do it any longer...
The sweat fossils that are awakened by new sweat do induce great memories, such as the climb up Haleakala. I enjoy the memories, but can't deal with the accompanying stench.
A stinky jersey does have its advantages--
1) In a group ride, I wouldn't have to do any work up front, since no one would want to follow the stink cloud.
2) In a race, no one would chase me if I started a break, for fear of choking on the stink cloud.
It's only May, and I can barely handle the stench. I could only imagine what it would be like to wear it during a hot July DC ride. I could probably clear out a city block.
So, I think it's time to say goodbye.


Jon said...

you wanna new one?

Strap said...

got one that doesn't hold stench?