Sunday, October 31, 2010


Some things are better left to the memories. The Dukes of Hazard was one of my favorite childhood shows. I was pretty excited back in '96 when I heard TNN was going to bring it back. I may have even skipped a class to watch the first episode. Huge disappointment. Bo and Luke weren't as cool as I remembered...just a couple of hillbillies driving a redneck car that wasn't as badass as it was in my 7 year old mind.

Back in the late 80s, early 90s, a sign at McDonald's proclaiming "The McRib is Back" was pretty damn exciting. At my peak, I could throw down 2 McRibs, a large fry, wash it down with a 32oz coke, and still weighed a whopping 150 lbs.

My last McRib was in 1994 or so. Not sure why I haven't had one since...hardly eat at McDonald's. Taco Bell is the fast food of choice, or if I'm in Korea, KFC is the place to be. McDonald's also held the McRib in reserve, strategically deploying it at certain locations for a limited time. They never called the McRib up for active service across the entire franchise network. The last time was in '94. So, there was some hype surrounding the latest McRib deployment...heard about it on NPR, discovered a McRib locator website. So, with all the hype, I knew it was time to reintroduce myself to the McRib.

On the drive to McD's I was nervous, knowing that this might not go as planned.

It did not.

First bite: tasty, tangy, spicey, barbecuey. Good.

Seconds later: bland, cardboardy, unidentifiable meatish substance.

Minutes later: churning stomach, greasy feeling, lethargy.

Went home, ate some carrots to soak up the gut bomb. Followed up with some ice cream to mask the lingering mystery meat flavor.

I want to forget this McRib, yet at the same time know that I shall never try the McRib again. I want to preserve all the great McRib memories of years past. I want to look at "The McRib is Back!" signs again and conjure up the great memories of boneless pork goodness.

1 comment:

Jon said...

Weep not for the sandwich, dear Steve, for it remains unchanged since the days of your gluttonous glory.

Weep for the man who has strayed from the path of manly cuisine and can no longer stomach nary a lone cardboard box full of manly food.